I miss my mommy. I helped Noah with his scheduling for classes next year. Or I should say I "tried" to help him. Dad was here. We were both at a loss on how to help him choose. He seems so angry. At his teachers.... At me.... I just wish she was here to talk to him. She had a connection with him. One I don't have.
It is Haven's birthday today. We all went to dinner at a Japanese steak house that she loves. There was such a hole missing. It was incomplete. I so wanted to make her 11th year special, but the cloud lingering was overwhelming.
I can't seem to let Romi out of my sight. I told Alan the other night that I "think" it is because I took care of my moms needs for so long because I saw her as "helpless" that maybe this is now what I am projecting upon Romi. I just want her near me all the time.
My mom was my best friend. My teacher, my confidant, my moral compass. I miss her with a passion that is insurmountable.
I thank everyone that came to her wake. I thank everyone that came to her mass and heard Father Barry call for her postmortem miracles to be seen. I thank Daphne who opened her home to our family. I thank you all for reading her blog and remembering her tonight.