ok here goes....

Jen here.  I got a call from our Hospice nurse this morning, Sheila (an awesome woman who has really been so compassionate and patient with Mom).  Sheila had received a call from Willow Brook saying that Mom was in pain.  She recently decided on her own accord to back off her pain meds again.  She keeps telling everyone that she is completely pain free.  The nurses think otherwise.  They can see the pain on her face.  When I was there, I looked through some of Mom’s writings.  She has phrases like “Sore shoulder” underlined and circled.  She has “headache” written several times.  The nurses told Sheila that she is having a hard time swallowing now.  We decided that a switch to liquid meds at the increased dose would be better for Mom at this time.

 

The nurses also told Sheila that she has been eating less lately.  Wanting to eat mainly sweets.  Sweets and soft food.  Sheila says this is to be expected.  Sheila does not think we have too much time left with Mom. 

 

I am sitting here at home.  We have been sorting 2200 gift bags for Haven’s upcoming meet next week.  Alan is the booster president and we need to get this done.  I am trying to get all my work done for Ian so he can feel comfortable with our business.  Haven is sick and so is Romi.  I can see Alan struggling to not let me see his sniffling and nose blowing.  I am cursing the snow.  I want to get to Mom.  I want to hold her hand.  I want to make fun of her for drawing on herself.  She appreciates how I can still tease her.

 

I knew being Mom’s medical power of attorney would be difficult.  I knew I would have to make decisions soon.  The decisions are ok with me.  I know what Mom wants.  What I hate is then having to call everyone and tell them about those decisions and why.  I hate hearing one thing from the nursing staff and then hearing everyone who visits contradict truth… searching for a way around what is happening.  That is the hard part about being the MPofA.  Not dealing with Mom.  But dealing with having to be a “downer” to everyone’s high hopes and prayers. 

 

Ok  my time on the therapy couch is over.  Romi needs her diaper changed.  We love you all and thank you for your love and prayers. 

 

 

 

 

Jen