Hi Mom fans. I came to visit and the first thing Mom does is put me to work! She hands me these three small 3x5" pieces of paper with very small cursive handwriting. "I want this on the blog," she asks. Who am I to argue? I can't retain my standing as most favorite kid if I start saying no now.
Below is Mom's message. She's always been a very deep thinker and for those who like that sort of thing, you'll probably dig it. If however you don't like the intimate details of a person, then you may want to skip it.
"Big realization overnight after discussion with team nurse leader yesterday on benefits of pain, relieving medication and how is enables, enhances and contributes to healing.
I love me now for realizing it wasn't all by taking only natural products, nor the vegan Budwig diet, nor the paw-paw, nor the oncolyn, nor the honey, nor the coconut oil I messaged on my skin that were going to heal me. These were helps to aid healing. I realized I was looking to amaze doctors who'd say, "look what natural do!" See!! She's right. See! I'm right.Therein set the pressure, and the awful nagging, always, always these inner doubts. Of course, I wasn't consciously aware of this.
Now that I am, I start by saying to my husband of 42 years, "I love the cotton striped pajamas YOU chose."
"I love the hipster underwear YOU chose." "I love how YOU'VE searched for perfect clothes."
I love how hard you have wanted to see me in no pain and I am sorry for responding in short, critical ways. In setting up the either/or opposing ways to approach healing I opposed alternative medicines with alleopathic. I opposed me and you. Now I love myself for saying "yes" to taking .25mg of Ativan, for saying "yes, Jennie. I understand no pain actually aids healing."
I love myself because that "yes" was my first, my "behold the handmaid of the Lord, be it done unto me according to thy will." I yield to you God. I open to you Jim.
It NEVER was me or my doing, it ALWAYS was you, God. So I say a continuous"yes" it's all YOU and I release HOW everything happens. I turn over all the HOWS and WHENS to those YOU choose. I have no inner conflics, no dilema. A mind/heart/body/spirit/soul/ in perfect place, experiencing compliment/wholeness. One.
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1 comments:
Wow MaryAnn how insightful. I do miss our talks and hope to talk with you soon. I can't wait to look at some quilts to buy for my new house. I look forward to your art show in March. Your note resonates with me and reminds of one of my esteemed guru's famous quotes "Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."~the 14th Dalai Lama. He's right you know?! :) Also if you'd like me to come up and so some Reiki I'd be glad to! Big Huge Hugs, Dru :)
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